XJ545-12 was pulled from her closed-down state as she heard the humans out in the corridor beyond her cell. Her stomach let out a growl, a desperate rumble of which she had no control. If anybody heard it, she would be punished. Hunger was weakness, and weakness was not tolerated.
A squeal of wheels filled the silence as the food trolley was pushed up the corridor. The fragrance hit her nose, and her stomach clenched with need. Saliva filled her mouth, and in their shared conscious mind, she felt the hunger of the other XJ5s being satisfied. It wasn’t fair. They weren’t hungry like she was. They weren’t being starved.
XJ545-12 heard the clunking sound of trays being passed through the small metal flap at the base of each door. She heard trays sliding across the floor and felt sensations of the basic need of hunger being met. The sounds grew closer, and her eyes were trained on the flap at the base of her own door. She tried not to want it, because wants were not allowed, but she couldn’t help the way she yearned to fill her empty stomach.
The worst thing was not knowing. Every day she waited patiently, hunger gnawing at her insides, desperately hoping that today this test would be over and she would be fed. She was never told how long she must endure the tests, and asking would bring down the worst kind of torture. She must never ask.
The trolley stopped outside, very close to her own cell, and she held her breath in anticipation. It had been eight days since she had received food. She could not tear her eyes from the flap at the base of her door, but it did not open. The trolley squeaked by and hope of receiving food diminished. She had been missed. Again.
Her eyes lingered on the slot at the base of her door as though she could will food to appear. The empty ache gnawed in her stomach, and there was no way to stop it. She tried her best to close down her senses, turn inwards and ignore the hunger, but the lack of nourishment was affecting her concentration, and it was far more difficult to ignore hunger when she was starving. How long would they keep her without food?
Hours passed, and she felt sick with starvation. Pain came in waves, and she felt weak. She heard footsteps approaching her door, and her despair grew. It wasn’t enough that they were forcing her to function without food; they weren’t content with that. They would push her to her absolute limit.
Another test. Another run. She was exhausted beyond reason, and she didn’t think her legs could hold her up, but failure was not an option. Refusal was not an option. All she could do was obey and endure.
They ordered her to stand, and she did. She showed no weakness. Maybe this time it would be enough. Maybe after this test, they would allow her to eat.
Ashleigh Reverie Author 